Revelation 12:11
Please be a blessing to someone else and give your testimony as an avenue to help their healing process.
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Allow me the space to say this. I have never before felt so helpless as when I couldn't remember anything, could barely see, couldn't walk or speak well, was seeing and hearing things that were not there and couldn't control my own head from bobbing around. I came two steps from being admitted into a mental hospital. I've been to some very low places, but GOD rescues me everytime.
Right now as I type, my head is bobbing back and forth and with all the strength in me, I'm trying to control it, trying to make my eyes clear up, trying to force myself to respond to things normally but I cannot do it by will power alone.
So, I'm yielding to GOD and knowing full well that there is a reason even for this. I was so low while I was in the hospital this time that I began to ask God who I'd wronged so much that my whole life has been spent suffering through one thing and then another. I found myself repenting for everything I could remember doing and stuff I might have done inadvertently. But after all those tears, I realized something. We can't judge anyone's obedience to God by their suffering. In fact, many times suffering in the eyesight of God is a treasure. I have spent so much of my time wailing over my fate in life: no father, mother mostly gone, mother on drugs, grandmother an alcoholic and illiterate, perversion in my family so that I was always an outcast, dating old men when I wasn't even a teenager yet so that I could pay bills, having two sons before I finished junior high, one of them dying, being battered before I was grown up, etc, etc. I spent so much time hating my life and hating all the pain I'd endured that I didn't realize the person it was making me into.
And so now with one more struggle to overcome, I lift my eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help. ALL my help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. I don't know anyone else like me and I'm glad, glad, glad that God chose me to make into this tough little piece of carpentry that cannot be undone by a few hardships. No, no, no! I've been down through that place called "there" and I'm still hanging on to GOD. Not perfectly by any means, but I'm hanging. I know HIM and HE knows me and we are an item that nothing on this side or the other side of creation can ever divide. If I never get my sight back, my gait back, control of my body back, if I never see millions and never have more children, AMEN and SO BE IT because HE is enough for me!
GOD has been preparing me and my faith. Long before I received this news.
on March 15, 2010. I had to have an open MRI of the brain. I received the report that a small tumor was spotted on my pituitary gland.
As soon as I got the report I said ok. GOD you said you would never leave me nor forsake me. Let me tell you he never left my side through it all. He is sooo AWESOME!!!
It was then recommended for me to have a 2nd MRI but this time they wanted a closed MRI. I was told that a closed MRI showed much better results. I am claustrophobic so this was really hard for me but JESUS never left me.
I had the 2nd MRI on March 25,2010. I met with the radiologist immediately. He kept searching and searching and he turned around and said it is not there. He said the open MRI was a positive reading that a tumor was there. However the closed MRI was a negative reading and it was not there.
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!
WHEW!!!!!!GOD IS SO AMAZING TO ME!!!!!!!
I know that the ULTIMATE PHYSICIAN IS ALWAYS WORKING AND ALWAYS ON TIME!!!!!!
I would like to thank you all for your prayers during the last several weeks.
I JUST CAN'T PRAISE GOD ENOUGH
FOR HIS BLESSINGS!!!!!
THANK YOU AGAIN
Blessings
Brandi
Well give honor and glory too God. When I was last here I was in some much pain and felt so alone. Well I'm still hurting but the ache in my heart is not so strong but is still there. I still have moments when I feel lost and alone. I feel that noone understands me, but I stop those thoughts from the emeny and remind myself that God knew first and love me the best. Lord God how do I miss my mother, but Lord you say you will be my mother and father. I beseech you to wrap your loving arms around me and rock the pain away. I blamed myself for my mother's passing, but I realize that I was wrong in my thinking. I'm finding my peace with those thoughts. But my God it's so hard! I call upon your name lord. I ask and pray that you hear my cries and my prayers. Lord only you know the tears I still cry in the bewitching hours. I smile and wear my mask for others to see but Lord with you I can take it away and just be me. People have excpetions of how you should greive and when that greiving is over but they don't understand. I didn't lose just a mother. I lost my best friend and my sister in one. I thank the lord that he blessed with the mother that I had. I knew I was loved by her. I was cherished by her and she by me. Sometimes people just need too stop and think, what if that was me. Words from people that don't understand can be so cruel without them even knowing. I pray to the lord that he keeps on blessing me and keeping me. I ask that the continues too see my heart and hear my prays. I pray for those that have loss and I pray for those that can't understand how some of us feel that have loss. I just ask that you be with us all. We need you now in this world like never before. Our childeren need you. Our parents need you. Lord we just need you. Forgive us lord for we still know not what we do. Lord bless all those that call upon your name and even those that have yet too try and seek you. Seeking you lord is a daunting task but one that is worth the effort. It's not easy trying to be a soldier for the lord. My flesh still is weak,my toungue still can be a serpernt, my thoughts are not always holly nor pure but God I am your child first before my mother's and my father's, don't give up on me lord cause I will never give up on you. Thank you God for the one constant in my life. I waitng on your word lord. I'mlistening in the hush of the midnight hour when it's dark and I feel all alone. I'w waiting and listening Lord. I'm listening.
I want to give thanks to my Almighty Father and Savior. I was reading Ms. Young words and felt compled too type how the Lord has helped me throught the difficult time in the last two years. I lost my grandmother in June of 2007 and a year later I lost my mother,best friend, and sister in all in one on the 23rd day of September of 2008. My world was rocked to the core. I wasn't angry with God in fact my losses have actually made my walk with my father stronger. I know God is real and I thank my father for the way that he has manifested his way in my by sourronding me around strong and beautiful black women who knows and understands my losses and my struggles. I want to say too these women personally Ms. Pinson, Ms.Darisaw, and Ms. Underwood thank you for the prayers,hugs,kisses and the words "I love you"
The song playing by Marvin Sapp prompted me to leave you this message and comment. If it wasn't for the Lord I wouldn't be here today. I have 2 sons one is 27 and the other one is 15; however three months after the delivery of my 15 year old I went into the hospital to remove a cyst but to make a long story short. The doctors had given up on me after my surgery due to complications they informed my husband to call my mother and the minister stating that I had been unconscious too long after the surgery and that if I didn't wake up within the next 2 hours they would have to make the decision of if they wanted to take me off life support. BUT GOD!!!! I am still here doing his work as he kept me here for that reason the devil thought he had me. So I say to you all don't give up I know it looks as though you can't make it but you are still here so just hold on to God Unchanging Hand.
With God Blessings